Interveiw with the Convict
by Sylence 00
Summary: What if Riddick had an interviewer knocking on his door? R/R...I dunno...it's suppoed to be funny....
1. Interview with the Convict

Interveiw with the Convict  
  
Disclaimer: No I don't own Riddick or help make up such a wonderful character...so dun sue meh...  
  
I see all of these interveiws, or rockstars and cartoon characters. No one seems to have wandered over to see how Mr. Richard B. Riddick was doing. As your favorite fallen angel, I shall go and take a peek...  
  
*Truth, walks down the hallway of the shabby looking apartment building, bobbing her head to Papa Roach as she scans the doors for the correct door number.  
  
66-F? *thinks to herself for a bit* A...B...C..D..E..F...*she counts the letters, realizing that "F" was the sixth letter in the Alphabet and blinking.* Aw....man....  
  
*Truth knocks on the door, a loud grunt eminates from the inside and the door swings open. She is now faced with Richard B. Riddick, escaped convict, murder and interview subject.*  
  
What the hell do you want, woman? he growled out.  
  
Truth took the time and turned down Last Resort and look up at him. She pulled a slip of paper out of the back pocket of her tight black jeans and shoved it in his face.  
  
"I'm supposed to be here," she growled back. "My boss shoulda called you, I'm doing an intership for the DW (DarkWorld) Times and I'm here to interveiw you...I'm Truth Vars." she snapped back, pushing her way inside and looking around.  
  
"Nice...but....where's the couch?" she turned and looked at him. Riddick read the note and growled.  
  
"Sit down at the table...I'll be back." he muttered, pointing to a small table with two chairs. She frowned a bit in distasted, but shrugged, chossing the one closest to the door, just in case and pulled out a sleek silver tape recorder.  
  
Riddick, walked back out of his bedroom and sat in the opposite char, not frowning anymore, but still having a look of distaste for the young, "new to the game" reporter.  
  
"Ready?" she smiled brightly.  
  
Riddick narrowed his eyes at her from behind the goggles, "Ready..." he growled out. Truth winced slightly and pressed Play.  
  
Truth- So...how long have you been living in this dump...er...Place?  
  
*Riddick frowned deeper and Truth winced*  
  
Riddick- About three months. Looks like I won't be staying after this is done.  
  
Truth- Aw...why not? *places her chin in her hand and realizes she was the reason why*  
  
Truth- Oh shit, Riddick I'm sorry...I'll have Wanda help you with getting back into hiding aga-  
  
Riddick- Wanda?  
  
*Truth nodded*  
  
Truth- My boss...Anyway, what have you been up too?  
  
*Riddick raised an eyebrow*  
  
Riddick- What the hell kinda questions are these anyways? This ain't no damn coffee table talk. Where's the interveiw?  
  
Truth- *looks a bit hurt at his words* Fine. You want questions. Here they go. When and where was the last time you got a lil' shiv happy?  
  
Riddick- *coughs and chokes on the bottle of water he brought with him* Da fuck...why in the hell-  
  
Truth- This ain't no coffee table talk...*smiles brightly*  
  
Riddick- *frowns deeply* Next Question, Vars...  
  
Truth-*rolls her eyes* Do you miss the person you once were...the so called "animal" inside?  
  
Riddick-*looks slightly pleased* I don't know. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  
  
Truth-*nods a bit* I know the feeling...Do you think, if you had a chance to go back and save Miss.Fry, you would?  
  
Riddick-*frowns at the subject being brought up again* Definatly, I think she would have helped me to understand why I was....feeling like the do- gooder types I usually shy away from...maybe...  
  
Truth-*nod, then gets a mischevious shine in her clear purple eyes* When's the last time you got laid??  
  
Riddick-A few nights ag- HEY! * lunges for her*  
  
Truth-*grabs her tape recorder and runs for the door, Riddick, grabs her by her ankles and she falls with a loud oof* Shit...  
  
Riddick-*snatches up the small, metal tape recorder* Now it's time for your interveiw, Miss. Vars....*smirks evilly and picks her up by the back of her jeans, carrying her into his bedroom, her CD player dangling from her hand*  
  
A/N- I know...it probably sucked....ah well...Read and Reveiw to see if my sense of humor is as dense as I think it is... 


	2. Reverse Askology

Interveiw with the Convict- Reversed Ask-ology  
  
Disclaimer: Nah...I dun own Riddick and the people who made him. BUT I DO OWN: Truth Vars and the DarkWorld Times....N-JOY!  
  
We last left our Fallen Angel Truth in the cluchtes of Richard B. Riddick. Now, what would happen if the tables were turned? Get's kind of depressing and sad...because, you learn why and how Truth fell from Heaven to Earth. R/R plz...  
  
Riddick threw Truth on the bed, she struggled to sit up, but with her leather duster and boots it was much of a hassle.  
  
Truth- Hey! Get me outta-ACK! *fell out of the bed, in a flurry of clothing, she sat up and looked around, her face set in a scowl and her dreadlocks disheveled*  
  
Riddick-*bursts out laughing, setting a char down and stretching his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles and holding the tape recorder and CD player in his large, tan skinned hands*  
  
Truth-*glares at him and scowls even harder* Now, you stop laughing you big...*stops talking as soon as she see's Riddick sitting in front of the door with her recorder and player*  
  
Riddick- I'm a big what? *raises an eyebrow and smirks evilly*  
  
Truth- Asshole...*she mutters and sits down on the bed, knowing she wasn't going anywhere for awhile*  
  
Riddick-*shrugs* Been called worse, Miss. Vars. Now-  
  
Truth-*widens her eyes in suprise* Oh really! *she cuts him off* Well...Let's think up some names, shall we? Bully, bastard, *she begns to count off on her fingers*  
  
Riddick-*narrows her eyes* How bout not. Shut up and let me ask some questions. *he pushes play on the recorder and sets it on the dresser*  
  
Truth-*frowns deeply* Yeah. *she shrugs off her leather jacket, revealing her tight black tee shirt with the words 'Bust Em' in swirling gunsmoke with the skull and crossbones under them*  
  
Riddick*eyes her shirt and her chest, smirks* Now, Truth. Where are you from, originally?  
  
Truth-*frowns deeply* Uhm...I would have to say Heav-  
  
Riddick-*bursts out laughing* Hea-Heaven! Are you fucking nuts?? HAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
Truth-*frowns deeply, hurt and pain filling her face* Yeah...I'm from Heav-  
  
Riddick-*laughs even harder and slaps his knee* Heaven...  
  
Truth-*growls softly* That's the problem with you damn humans. You never fucking listen. *she says, with a suddne Australian accent*  
  
Riddick-*stops laughing, abruptly and his smile fades* So...If you're from Heaven. That makes you an ang-  
  
Truth-*cuts him off* A fallen Angel. I'm not welcomed there anymore, mate. *she growls*  
  
Riddick-*nods* How...ah...did you get here?  
  
Truth-*frowns even deeper* Love. I'm here because of Love. And Humans.  
  
Riddick-*raises an eyebrow* Care to explain?  
  
Truth-No.  
  
Riddick- Let me guess...you feel in love with a man and he dumped you? Right? It fig-  
  
Truth- WRONG! You are wrong! Don't you ever tell me about my life, you silly man...damn you...*she yells*  
  
Riddick-*winces slightly* I didn't mean to-  
  
Truth- *cuts him off* You wanna know, well...here's MY little story, since it interests you so fucking much, godammit. I did get kicked out of Heaven for a man. I loved him. He took my virginity and God let me stay here. To be with him. And God understood...he left me...certain powers and my wings...and he let me go...*she shakes her head, wiping a tear from her face.* I was so stupid...  
  
Riddick- *reaches out to rub her shoulder*  
  
Truth-*slaps his hand away* NO! I'm not finished yet. *she sits down and frowns* I loved him so much. He abused me and raped me...ah...a twist. So, I got my revenge. I sent him away, I gave him six days to live, until I found his sorry ass and killed him dead and sent him to hell. Happy? I killed a man my first month on Earth and I loved every fucking minute of it. How he screamed and bled such red warm blood...it was...marvelous....*she smiled, a psyhycotic gleam in her clear purple eyes*  
  
Riddick-*blinks and shakes her head* How old were you then?  
  
Truth-*blinks, thinking* I dunno....152...maybe....152. I have forgotten my age. *she shrugged*  
  
Riddick-*raises an eyebrow, and smirks* You don't look over 121...  
  
Truth-*eyes him and rolls her eyes* I am 21..technically....*shrugs* Oh well. Anymore questions. Or...can I go now?  
  
Riddick-*shakes his head* One more question. Who in the fuck is Papa Roach? *shows her the small music disk in her MiniDisk player, labeled Infest/LoveHateTragedy*  
  
Truth-*blinks and bursts out laughing* 


End file.
